Do not fear the cinnamon roll.

The long awaited day, has arrived. I have finally perfected the art of the cinnamon roll. No more spilled filling, no crispy dough, no over buttered (as if there is such a thing) pans. These babies are pure bliss--filled with that sweet aromatic product harvested straight from Madagascar. *I actually don't know if my cinnamon comes from Madagascar but I would assume as much. Just bear with me here. It's poetic, and stuff. And the frosting. The frosting, people. Ah. I can't.

Tackling this feat makes me want to take up arms and attempt the perfect chocolate chip cookie, or homemade brownies. The possibilities are endless. I could probably try bungee jumping, windsurfing, cliff diving. Maybe I will learn the guitar, sing in front of people, finally tackle all those programs on the Adobe suite, or brush up on that sad, rusty Spanish of mine. In the middle of my elation over cinnamon rolls, I realized that I had accomplished something that seemed at first to be cryptic and confusing and almost cruel. (Seriously, if your yeast has even been killed before the little babies even get a chance...you know what I mean.) Think about this one--we can do all sorts of things that at the first go around we would never think of being capable of. So yeah, it was only cinnamon rolls. I was in a kitchen. This is all very tame. But the idea is the same, is it not? Whenever there's something you want to accomplish, you might as well just cover yourself in flour, kill a bunch of yeast, burn a million pans of the things--and keep doing it--until you end up with a gloriously perfect pan of cinnamon-y goodness. It doesn't make sense to never try just because you've convinced yourself things won't end up as good as you want them to be. Just figure out what you want, work really hard, and go for it. Do not fear the cinnamon roll.

Ra(ndom)mblings.

 How many times do we find ourselves trying to fit into this mold of something or someone that we think will make us more attractive or more desirable or more popular in the eyes of someone else? How often do we allow comparison to be the thief of the joy and accomplishments and successes we work so hard for? It's the easiest thing to do. You take yourself at your worst and compare it to everyone else at their best. And it doesn't help that on top of that, you deal with a barrage of social media from facebook, instagram and twitter. It's the perfect platform for comparison. Because let's all be honest here--usually people shy away from broadcasting their circumstances if they don't feel good about them. But that doesn't stop you, when you're feeling like your life is less-than documentary worthy, from scrolling and clicking and sorting through pages and pages of content that can make the life you're trying to balance (and build) seem less than enthralling. Suddenly you question what you're doing, criticize why you're doing it, and unhappiness, complacency and negativity corrodes your ambition and skill until there's not much left of you. 

So what's the point of it all? There's this idea that to be something worthwhile, we have to beat out everyone else, make ourselves stand out from the crowd, be different, unique, noteworthy, exciting. And there's nothing wrong with that. Not at all. But all too often the motivation behind that desire isn't to make ourselves the best we can be to live with a positive image of our own life, but to beat out or one up or feel more accomplished than another. The grass is always greener, right? Except for when you're on the other side. All we can really do is work our very hardest to be the very best we can be for the right reasons. The root of all unhappiness isn't going to be fixed by trying to attain some trait or skill or quality or look that someone else has because you think they're better off than you. The root of YOUR unhappiness is only fixed by taking the time to really understand what you want and why you want it, then working your butt off to get it because that's the only thing that can make your circumstances better and make you happier. Basically it all comes down to what makes you a better person, because to be perfectly honest, no one contributes anything to the world if their mindset is downtrodden and shackled by thoughts of comparison, envy and negativity. So understand what you're doing, and why you're doing it, and if you're unhappy, stop. If you want something else, change. Work hard to accomplish the things you really want, and take the time to stop and think and make sure those things are getting you where you want to go, not where you think someone else is going because they seem happier or better or more successful than you.

Because let's be honest, none of us really know anything about anything in the long run. We can plan all we want, but stuff happens. And I for one, am going to be in the thick of what makes me happiest if or when that occurs. At least then you know you're living a life in no one's shadow, and making the most of it. 

"Love is not blind, that is the last thing love is. Love is bound, and the more love is bound the less it is blind" 

Thoughts on change.

There was a quote I heard recently which read:

"You are perfect exactly as you are. With all your flaws and problems, there's no need to change anything. All you need to change is the thought that you have to change."

I found this quote really interesting. Because, where is the line between changing yourself because you feel insecure, inadequate, or insufficient, and changing yourself for the good of bettering yourself, and improving who you are? I set a goal, and want to get there; I want to improve, be better, look better, try harder, do more. Isn't that all change? Where I see the real issue come in, is when we base our self worth on the changes we want for ourselves, and not in the small, daily accomplishments we achieve while working towards something much, much bigger. I can't change everything about myself that I would like to in a day, but I can work every day to get a little closer towards positive change. And I can love myself for doing that. LOVE, people. We beat ourselves up so much over every little crack in the walls. If we see ourselves not doing enough, fast enough, and don't see the results quickly enough, we immediately place that blame on ourselves.

Change, when it comes down to it, is the driving force behind all the good that comes in life. Its what helps us to progress, make goals, change goals, find ourselves, become who we want to be. But in doing that, it's remembering that change doesn't happen overnight, and it doesn't happen in one fell swoop. But as long as you're trying, you're changing.

And that's really all that matters in the end. 

Confession.

I think I have an addiction. I'm not a very healthy eater. I usually eat mac n'cheese and chocolate chip cookies...and cake...and sweets...at least once a week. Does the chocolate cake I ate at 12:30 last night count? 

I'm the worst.

Anyways. I think I have a problem with eating well. And well balanced. If I'm not stuffing my face with the aforementioned foods I'm usually eating an egg toast for breakfast and a bowl of cereal for dinner. I'm a mess!

This. Ends. Now.

I am going to try to test myself, to see if I can really keep track of what I'm nourishing my body with, as opposed to just eating. I'll probably take pictures of my food a lot (that's a big change for me, I know, because it's not like I take pictures of food always or anything) and I am going to really track what I'm eating for my health in the big picture! The journey shall start tomorrow. I'll keep you people posted.

(Starting tomorrow...because the waffluv truck is out by the duck pond and it's calling my name). But really, anyone who knows me knows I am defenseless against waffles.

Oops.

Real life, guys.

Hey all. So I haven't died or anything...I just suck at maintaining a blog and not failing finals. So maybe I fell off the side of the technological Earth for a few...months. So sue me.

Anyways. Yesterday this happened:

My best friend in the whole world is going to PARIS, FRANCE for 18 months to serve as a missionary for our church. 

The emotions I could use to explain this event include: happy, thrilled, elated, excited, and a billion other synonyms, which I'm happy about because that masks the tinge of extreme sadness at the thought of surviving life without my best friend for 18 months. But it is all so worth it in the end. I can't even really write out how I really am feeling about all of this right here, because I will start crying and I am not really in a crying-friendly environment at the current moment. That sounds sketchy. But you know, like that ugly cry...the one where your chin starts to quiver all attractively and your face gets splotchy and you start to gasp for breaths? Yeah you don't want to see it. 

So I'll just leave it at this. 

Paris, you are one lucky city. 

Here's the thing.

What do you do when you get hit with a gnarly stomach virus that keeps you immobilized in bed?

Watch TV. 
Read. 
Listen to Music. 

So in the case of that last point, I have a little problem in that when I hear a song and love it, I LOVE IT. And then I play it on repeat for hours and hours and learn all the words and play it everywhere I go because it just becomes my anthem.

Exhibit A:

Jacob Artist, MARRY ME.

A very special birthday

Heyyo. So, this model right here is my mom. She's pretty great.

I wish there were words that could express the influence a mother has in their childs life. Their unique mixture of strength, example, wisdom and love makes truly astounding change in the moldable hearts, minds and spirits of their children. My mom is one of those such women, and has taught me innumerable lessons in my life. I've learned how to be brave, strong, caring, loving, how to make a mean gumbo and that you never go to a party without some kind of treat in-hand. I've learned that people who are the hardest to love need the love the most, and that through charity and love you can change lives. Thanks momma, and happy birthday. You're a remarkable person and I love you more than a warm Chicago Fire pizookie.

"Napoleon is quoted as having asked Madame Campan: “What is wanting in order that the youth of France will be well educated?” “Good mothers,” was her reply. The Emperor was forcibly struck with this answer. “Here,” he said, “is a system in one word—mother.”

I love you, mom. Happy Birthday :)